Fresh Air

My main concern was separation from MKO hopelessly. I checked different ways in my mind which I had disappointedly tested some of them and some needed the essentials inaccessible.

One sad sunset I was deeply thinking about different things that suddenly I reminded of my old friend, the late Mohammad Sadegh Eslami. I decided to visit him. He was still managing director of Qa’em Glazing Company. He had an office Bazaar either. I chose Bazaar to meet him. He accepted me warmly. After greetings I put the pamphlet of “Ideology Change” on the table and said: “They (MKO) are Marxists now!” He said: “I don’t believe it!” I said: “But it’s a reality.” He knew about the martyrdom of Sharif Vaqefi but not about the ideology change. He said: “I have heard some, but I thought they were only rumors by SAVAK.” I said: “No. Not a rumor; it’s a reality. I am among them and know. If you know me as a friend, believe me.”

Then I narrated all the events that had happened during the last few months, particularly my dialogue with Mohammad Taqi Shahram and Habib. I also told him about the confusion and disorientation among Muslim comrades. He was looking at me doubtfully and finally said: “Ahmad! I need few days’ time.” Then he gave me a phone number and asked to be in contact with him.

After four days I called him as we had coordinated with each other. We had to visit each other once more. I went to visit him without being noticed by other team members. His behavior had changed to comparing to the last visit of ours and he was looking at me more trustfully. He said: “Ahmad! Agha Seyyed Ali[1] has also confirmed what you said and when I delivered the “Ideology Change” pamphlet to him, he said that he had received it before.” I said: “Ok, thank God that you believed me.” He said: “Yes, MKO members are distributing these pamphlets, not SAVAK.”

I said: “Dear Sir! I am awfully trapped. They may kill me these days or involve me in a street fight with SAVAK to be killed. I feel bad events are coming. They are definitely traitors.” He said: “What are you going to do?” I said: “I do not want to continue with them even if I got killed. Now I am looking for house to rent, despite there not much money in my pocket.” He said: “Imam would help these groups at all.” I admired Imam’s acuity and tactfulness.

When saying goodbye, I said: “If you could not see me anymore, forgive me; we may meet on doomsday!” He said: “Trust in God, contact us in ten day.”

I passed a few days in confusion and with doubled metal pressure. I called him again ten days later. Just right at the time that I was pessimistic to heaven and hell and all the people around, he asked: “Ahmad! Be sincere. Are you really cut from them?” I said: “It is clear that I have cut with them or I would not be here now and put myself in danger.” He said: “Is not there any trick?!” I said: “Dear Sir! What are you talking about?! God knows that I have lost all I had and now it is not important to me if I lose my life.”

Then I asked him to tell me where I could go because all the routes were blocked to me. He said: “Make more contacts with us. Now go and rent a house for yourself.” I said: “With which money?” He said: “I pay whatever you needed. I have talked to friends [in Coalition Councils] and they have accepted you. Ahmad! You should save yourself alive. We help whatever we can and give you any facilities you wanted.”

These sentences were like sun rays warming my weak and tried body. I felt there was a light of hope in my life. When I came out of his office, I took a deep long breath. I felt that I was walking on the clouds.

I began looking for a house to rent. I found one near Mo’ezzussultan Bazaar and rented it. I told the landlord that I was working in a nail producing company and my family was in Semnan. I was predicting that I might be able to have Fatima come along with me for living there. Although I had only worked there for twenty days but it was a good excuse to be out of team-house and following what the late Mr. Eslami had told me. In order to make MKO not be suspicious about me, each week I would take home some money that Mr. Eslami had given me and pretend that it was my weekly salary.