Separation from MKO

Hopeless about me, MKO decided to do something else. It was about October 1975 that one day my wife went out to buy something. We were still in Gorgan Street. It took time more than usual. When she was back she said that she had met a familiar young man about 20 from her previous neighborhood near the bakery and in order to make him confused about the route that she had been going she had gone through misleading way. However, she was still stressful and worried. She believed that young man might have chased her.

Iraj said that he might have had reported the matter to the police office or SAVAK and we had to evacuate that house. He said: “Our sister (Shapourzadeh) has a place to go; me too. Khosrow! You should go to the team-house which you are in contact with…” I noticed that he was specifying the safe place for all except me. I asked: “What about me?!” He said: “Shapour! You stay here. We hope nothing would happen. Let’s see what goes on!!” I understood what he meant. Iraj was hopeful that I would be arrested by SAVAK if stay there and this way they would also solve their problem with me.

They went out. I did not know what to do. I was confused for some moments. Silent shadowed over the house. Suddenly I made mind and collected my needed things, locked the door and came out. This way I came out of MKO. It was a strange feeling. I was full of stress and worry. I was scared not for my destiny but about my wife and children’s. I started to walk while crying and whispering to God and thinking what a destiny the Lord had written for me.

…That day was a dark one me. When I put my things in the house that I had rented in Mo’ezzussultan Street, I could not tolerate staying at home anymore and came out. I was traipsing around aimlessly. I was feeling a pain. Time was dreadfully passing fast. I could not tolerate the pain of separation from Fatima and my kids. I was continuously criticizing myself about why I did not take care of Fatima and this and that.