Ambiguities

When we reached the police office, they did not take me to my brother and we were separated. It seemed my brother had understood from their talks that the problem was with me. An hour later they would tall my brother that he could go. He had asked: “What will happen to my brother?” they had told him: “He is guest of us for a long time. You can go.” Haj Mehdi had told them: “He is young and doesn’t understand. He has done nothing and if he has done something wrong, it has been just because of his youngness; he did not mean to." They had told him: "He has done something that you not think of. Go, we will send him later."

When Haj Mehdi found out how bad were the conditions, based on his experience went to police warrant officer and gave him 50 Toomans note and told him: "Take 30 Toomans of this money for yourself and spend the rest for my brother." The warrant was impressed by my brother’s generosity and said: "Dear Sir, they bring the youth like your brother everyday here. It is not clear what the matter is. They say these youth had wanted to rise militarily!" Then, Haj Mehdi found out the matter was so important. However, he did not know what to do to get more information, because the relations inside INP were secret. He just could understand the matter is something about military activity.

About five o’clock in the afternoon they took me to another room. There, I could hear the sound of traumatic crying and shouting. These sounds would destroy my concentration and would not let me think. Later I found out those sounds were only on a tape to scare the detainees.

Finally, it became night. I called a guard and told him that I wanted to pray. Then he fiercely insulted me and said: "You wanted to disturb the country. You want to pray?! May God break your backbone!" I did not note to his insults and asked again: "Sir, which direction is Qibla?" He showed me a direction angrily. I went to the bathroom and became ready for prayers. I said my prayers and then they took me to another room for interrogation. There were three people. The interrogator was in front of me and two others stood on my both sides and took my wrists. Whatever the interrogator asked I did not say anything. He asked about Khalq newspaper. I pretended that I have not even heard of it and said: "Khalq is word used by the Communists!" He said: "Yes. But you are worse than the communists." Then he slapped across my face several times. He asked about my relations and friends and I was silent. He asked me to talk and tell the truth. I said: "I have nothing to say." The interrogator who was angry with me and disappointed told me: "Come on!... talk… confess!" and at the same time was hitting by hand and leg and I could not do anything because the other two had taken my hands. He was hitting my fiercely. Later, I found out his name was Niktab.[1] His hands and slaps were so heavy and I was tolerating a hard pain and eyes would go dark.

About 11 o’clock at night, while I was still in ambiguity and surprise, suddenly I saw Mr. Mir Mohammad Sadeghi through the half open door passing by. They had closed his eyes and a guard was beside him. When I saw him, I was a bit relaxed that the condition would not be worse, because I did not have to reveal my higher ranks and break my swear. The guards expected that I would confess by seeing him and would think everything was over. But I did the reverse. I was more determined to keep my silence and not confess. I was thinking that then I was a step forward. In INP they had trained us if we were arrested, we were not allowed to reveal our higher ranks and just under severe tortures we were allowed to reveal out lower comrades after 24 or 48 hours.

The interrogation continued. I could hear shouts and cries and begs that were telling of horrible tortures. I could hear interrupted cries that would say: "Oh… I was wrong…I am sorry…Ok… I tell…Forgive me…I was not aware… I am you servant…I tell everything… I am faithful to His Majesty …"

Sometimes, I could hear the sound of hitting that would break the bones. Later, I found out they were only recorded sounds on tapes to suppress the souls of detainees. After some time, they brought Javad Mansouri and Shams Haeri there. There were also from my branch in INP and had been arrested a day earlier. When Haeri saw me, told me: "Ahmad! Do not resist and be hit unreasonably; they have arrested everyone." When I heard that, I was trembled. The interrogation continued. They took & brought me that night several times and hit. But I did not say anything despite all those hitting.

Then the damned Niktab while insulting me showed me some papers and said: "Look! These are written by all your friends! Why do you make us beat you unreasonably?!" Then he looked at a guard and said: "Let him be. He does not want to say. Ok! No problem. This will only make his conditions worse."

They showed me the interrogation papers that some had confessed. By seeing those papers, and after being beaten a lot and with a blue and red face I also confessed. After writing my personal data I added that I was only an ordinary member. This way, after three days of interrogation I confessed because of Haeri’s words and seeing the interrogation papers of other members.

The interrogators would do their job in hours later than ordinary work hours. They would not do fierce actions in presence of police members. Since they were inexperienced, they would begin their work by advices and preaching us and they would talk about repeated matters in order to make the detainee talk. For example, they would say: "You are a good man. You have a good personality. You’re a teacher in this country. You earn about 500 Toomans a month. Why you should be hoaxed and do such actions. Save yourself and cooperate with us. You have a family, a good Dad and Mum. If you get married, you will have a good life too and would not enter such misleading activities. Instead of these actions go to Koran reading classes and…."

They were eager to know what had made us to do so. All their tricks for telling me that everyone had been arrested and resisting had no use and we know everything and…were all useless and would not work on me. When they could not get any result, they would beat me by leg and hands and sometimes slashing their belts on my body; they wanted to force me confess, but they could not. The only thing that I confessed was my membership in INP.[2]

Day by day they would arrest more members of INP and bring them there; most of them unknown to us. By seeing them I became sure that the party had been discovered; but, how?! I still did not know and it was an ambiguity for me.